Boxed, Trapped, Stuck, and Brass Rings

This entry isn't about Carousels but it is about Brass Rings and if you want to know how the two tie in together (which is the contextual framework of this entry) do some work on Wikipedia. This entry is also about boxed, trapped, and stuck; Boxed-In, Caught-In-A-Trap, and Stuck-In-The-Mud. Let's see if I can unravel how those scenarios and Brass Rings fit together.

There's a couple of people (perhaps hundreds) in my life who don't like the prime mechanism they've created to put food on the table, clothes on their back, gas in their car, and answer to the #1 cocktail chatter question; "What do you do?" They don't like their jobs. That isn't to say that they never liked their job, one of them I know did, but they don't like them now. Perhaps I am over- simplifying but saying they don't like their jobs. One of them likes their job just not the current arena and environment that he does his job. The other just would rather be doing another job. So maybe the most accurate way to describe the situation is that their is some discomfort in their jobness. I'm not talking about the kind of discomfort that ebbs and flows in all jobnesses, I'm talking about a real attitude that something else should be happening in the knocking-down-buffalo aspect of their life.

Their both making pretty good incomes so there are reasons for gratitude, especially looking at the economy du' jour but they're spending 35 - 50% of the peak hours of their life doing something that they would rather not do - if they had their rathers. But they don't have their rathers, they're stuck; in the box, in the trap, in the mud. They are both good-looking guys, plenty of personality (a little on the quirky side), and even appear to have above-average intelligence. You might ask why I say "appear to have above-average intelligence" if they spend such a huge amount of primetime life doing something they don't want to be doing. My answer to that "why" is my answer to all "why's" - "YES"!

My take on "why" they spend their life doing something they don't want to do is because they are afraid to breakthrough their life. They are afraid to go for the Brass Ring. See, the long-term reward for getting the Brass Ring is that you get another, free, ride on the Merry-Go-Round. The immediate gratification is "GOING FOR IT"; leaning way right of safety, putting "it" all on the line, being the initiator; moving to increase (and growth), and setting the course instead of following the course. I say "afraid to breakthrough their life" because I believe these gentlemen are convinced that "things could be worse" and to "rock the boat" could result in drowning (if they can't, or don't want to, swim). What grieves me is their apparent belief that "things couldn't be better", at least enough belief to find out. To add "overwhelming" to the tragedy of their not going for it, is the fact that both of these gentlemen have much more than half of their lives left to rebuild, should that be necessary, when in actuality they could just turn and go back to what they're doing now if they left to seek their dreams. Seems then that it just comes down to comfort and convenience; it's much more comfortable and convenient to be miserable than to set a new course. Go figure.

I really don't believe that the best thing to do is to throw all caution and rationality to the wind as a matter of course. I have a pretty strong addiction to yearning for feelings of security and if I ever found them I might possibly hold on to those feelings with both hands. What I have learned is that through the number of times that I have "put 'it' on the line" and succeeded that I have developed a self-trust that proves to be an incredible ally. I know that I can get through adversity, upset, and setbacks and am up to handling whatever life serves up for me. There have been times when I didn't believe it could get worse and times that I felt deep sorrow over the grief, pain, and discomfort I have caused others. I've experienced guilt, regret, and embarrassment for some of the things that I've done. The bad news, and the good news, about life is that there is no guarantees other than someday you are going to die and everything in between is an absolute "Do-It-Yourself" project in terms of happiness and sadness. If I was into advice, which, of course I'm not, I'd say follow The Eagles admonishment and "Take It To The Limit".